Day date

August 1st was my and Brian's 3rd wedding anniversary. Three years isn't a huge milestone, but we felt it was important to celebrate the day and do something together, just the two of us. We haven't had a proper date since before Ashlyn was born and we were long overdue. I wasn't sure how we'd be able to do anything too exciting since our anniversary was in the middle of the week and it would be difficult to find time to celebrate, but Brian encouraged me to take the day off from work so we could have a "day date."

We decided it would be nice to visit some wineries for the day. Virginia has tons of wineries and beautiful landscapes that surround those wineries. Better yet, most of the wineries are only about an hour from our house so they are very convenient and easy to drive to.

We dropped Ashlyn off at daycare and got ready for the day. We had breakfast together and made a quick stop at Babies-R-Us (of course I'd sneak an errand in there somehow) so I could get a car adapter for my breast pump. The pump does work on batteries, but it's a lot easier to pump in the car with the adapter and I was tired of spending so much money on batteries. I still had to make sure that I found time between our trips to the wineries to pump milk for Ashlyn.

Because we went in the middle of the week, not all of the wineries in the area were open so we had to do some research and choose wineries that were open on that day. We were also worried about the weather - it called for rain on and off. As we drove to the first winery, it poured the whole time. Even though all the wine tastings are indoors, the surrounding area is so beautiful that it's nice to walk around the vineyard and grounds. I really wanted it to be sunny. 

The first place we headed to was Tarara winery. I had been there before on my bachelorette trip with the girls, but Brian had never been there. The winery is huge and sits on 475 acres. I really enjoyed the wine there and figured it was worth a trip back. I was afraid we wouldn't be able to fully take in the sights, but as soon as we parked at Tarara, we got lucky - the skies opened up and the sun came out! From then on, it was sunny all day!

The great thing about going to wineries on a weekday is there were only a few other tasters there and we got the tasting host pretty much to ourselves. If you've ever been wine tasting on a weekend, you know that the place is going to be packed with people. The tastings are usually done in big groups and you don't get to spend lots of time with the host because there's always a group behind you waiting their turn.

We got to take our time, ask lots of questions, and enjoy ourselves without feeling rushed. We even got to sample a few wines that aren't normally on the tasting menu. We chatted with the tasting host and when she found out that we were celebrating our anniversary, she told us that our tasting was free (usually the fee is anywhere from $5 - $10/person depending on the winery). We thought that was a really nice, unexpected gesture on her part.

After Tarara, we went into Leesburg for lunch. Brian had scoped out a quaint restaurant downtown called Tuscarora Mill that gets great reviews from all the top magazines and websites in the DC area. I was excited to eat a meal slowly, without being interrupted. We ordered wine and yummy food. Lunch was nice - we got to take our time, eat, and talk about life. After lunch, we continued our wine tour.

We headed to Willowcroft Farm Vineyards, which is supposed to be the oldest winery in Northern Virginia. The tasting room is in an old barn and is very rustic. The tasting host told us that we were the first tasters of the day, which was really shocking. I think she was happy to have someone to talk to so, again, we got lucky and were able to take our time and talk to her about the wines and whatnot. At the end of the tasting, she told us to each pick our favorite wine and she bought us a glass of each as an anniversary gift. I thought that was really sweet! I guess it's good to go wine tasting on slow days... and mention that it's your anniversary... and mention that you haven't had a date in 6 months... haha. We took our glasses of wine and sat outside on some picnic tables overlooking a gorgeous view and talked about our relationship and reminisced.

 

 

After Willowcroft, we had to head home to pick up Ashlyn from daycare, but we really enjoyed our day together. We decided we should take the day off more often! Our day date was a great reminder why Brian and I got married. While I believe that Brian and I have a pretty solid marriage, we certainly have had our share of challenges recently. We're definitely both guilty of not always taking the time to show our affection and appreciation for one another. The things that came so easily to us before -  going out for romantic dinners, finding time to cuddle or embrace, giving compliments, sleeping in late on the weekends, or just having a conversation not about the baby or work or all the things we need to do - are less frequent these days.

I will also admit to my personal faults - I certainly haven't been the kindest, most patient wife in the last few months. Sometimes caring for Ashlyn, working, and doing everyday chores suck every last bit out of me and Brian gets left with all the not so great parts of me. I'm often irritable and quick to criticize - both very bad traits only increased with sleep deprivation. Brian certainly has his own stresses and responsibilities that weigh him down as well.

I remember being at party when I was pregnant and chatting with a group of older women that I didn't know very well. They were all giving me advice and reminiscing about their own experiences when they were first-time parents. At one point, one of the women looked at me seriously and said, "make sure you continue to take care of your husband." I remember laughing awkwardly and thinking, "is this lady for real?" She went on about how it's common for men to feel like they become less important when the baby arrives and they start to get insecure and unhappy and you need to make sure you show them love and build them up. At the time I thought she needed to refill her meds, but I now sort of understand what she was trying to tell me.

Marriage takes work when it's just the two of you. Then having kids throws a curve ball into your marriage and the relationship definitely changes. I try to remind myself that I will get back what I put into my marriage. Having a loving, nurturing relationship benefits everyone - Brian will be better off. Ashlyn will be better off. I will be happy and fulfilled. We will have a happy family as long as we both continue to be committed to our relationship and make each other a priority. It's not always easy and I fail miserably sometimes, but I know what needs to be done and I keep working on it.

Although we have new challenges and responsibilities these days, we are still the same two people that fell in love seven years ago. We are best friends and have fun together. I've missed spending time with him. Brian is my partner and the person I should be building up every single day. We are a TEAM and should be each others biggest supporter. 

On our anniversary, I was reminded of all the dreams and goals Brian and I have for our life together. Last year when we saw that positive result on a pregnancy test, one of our most important dreams was realized. I felt so incredibly happy. Not just because we were going to start the family that we'd always talked about, but because I knew our baby was conceived in love. Our baby was going to be part of me and part of Brian. And I knew having a child would be the greatest thing that we would ever do together as a couple and she would be our greatest joy. 

I'm so happy  I said  "I do" on that August day three years ago. When we ran out of that church together hand in hand, I knew I'd found a partner in life who'd love me through the good and the bad. I love you, Brian, and I thank you for all you've done to try to be the best husband and father you can be. And I thank you for the greatest gift you've ever given me - our daughter.